What can Kathryn - and you - do to get more web business?

While Flash may allow you to load your website with snazzy animated graphics, it works against you in two key ways:

1. It brings your search engine rating way down because most web crawlers can only read static HTML code


2. It tends to place design over content - meaning that your web visitors might be impressed at first, but will probably lose interest well before you hook them into taking the next step with you
   

For this homepage booster, I'll give Kathryn some tips on how to improve her current site, as well as some broader suggestions that she can use when she's ready to build one with a real homepage - one that's not just some web designer's personal canvas, but a lean, mean selling machine!

But before we get started, let me remind you: my 7 point homepage critique is available to anyone with a company and a website. If you fall into that category and want to drum up more business, click here to get more info. And as you read the following critique, ask yourself how these comments could be used to hotrod your homepage.

Okay, let's roll up our sleeves and dig in!

1. Clear purpose - does the reader know exactly what you're offering?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• Viewers must click through a mostly blank page - one that offers only the foggiest sense of what your company is - in order to reach your main page. Why make us take that extra step?


• Once we reach your homepage, we find very little text. You're not speaking directly to your audience. Most viewers will get tired of rolling over images and clicking through pages before they figure out what you're offering


• The language is vague: "Looking like the substantial you!" What's looking like the substantial me? What does the substantial me look like? I can't tell if this is the solution your website is offering


• On the homepage, the only indication of your target audience is the word "business"

• Cut the pre-page. When viewers click on www.kathrynlim.com they should land right on the information they're looking for


• Add more text to your homepage: let viewers know exactly what you do - in specific, real-life terms


• Don't waste any time identifying your potential clients and appealing to their needs and desires

2. Clear customer benefit - is your copy loaded with evidence as to how the reader's life will be improved by your products or services?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• I'm not seeing any specific ways that your services will make my life easier - or any risks that I face by not working with you


• Viewers are sure to be impressed by your testimonials - if they can only find them. Right now they're buried on a sub-page and separated from each other

• Brainstorm the day-to-day needs, desires, fears and concerns of your target audience. That's what you want in your copy. If a reader says, "Oh my god, she knows exactly what I can do to feel more confident and attractive!" - they're much more likely to get in touch with you


• Make your testimonials impossible to ignore. Put them right on your homepage where the viewer can't miss 'em. (You mention style guru Robert Pante: use his homepage as an example of well-placed testimonials. http://robertpante.com/index.php)

3. Onscreen reader friendliness - does your web copy attract the eye and provide "anchors"?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• Currently, the homepage is a lot of graphics and very little text. A few words that appeal to my desires would be a lot more effective than a page of images - no matter what kind of mouse-over fireworks they include


• On your sub-pages pages, the copy looks dense and blocky: few headlines, even fewer subheads, and no bold highlighting or bullet points. Without them, viewers' eyes will start to glaze over pretty quick

• When you do add text to your homepage (see my suggestions in "Clear purpose"), keep it simple and to-the-point. That means punchy, benefit-rich headlines and short paragraphs and sentences, with keywords in bold


• And keep in mind: with a clear, eye-grabbing layout, you won't have to sacrifice style. Just remember that your first priority is to convert web-surfers into customers. Make sure the layout doesn't distract readers from the messages that can inspire them to pick up the phone and contact you

4. Clear language - is your copy simple, accessible and welcoming?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• Generally, your language has a friendly, casual tone and is free of business jargon. Good job!


• One exception: the beginning of the "About Kathryn" page (which should eventually be incorporated into the homepage) reads more like a lecture than a conversation. You're not inviting the reader in

• Make sure you always personally address your audience. Start the "About Kathryn" page - and eventually, your homepage - with copy that's rich with the word "you."

5. Professional impression - is the layout clean and easy on the eye?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• The "About me" page starts with a nice big picture of you looking directly at the viewer. Nice! Too bad it's buried behind two clicks (pre-page -> homepage -> "About Kathryn")


• Orange type on dark blue may look nice, but who cares if you have to squint to read it?


• Typos! Exhibit A: "Looking like the more substancial you" when I roll over link #2. And that's not the only one


• Laying out the "About Kathryn" page as a letter with your signature at the end gives it a nice personal touch. But you're missing a key part: the salutation!

• Put your photo right there on the homepage so that it welcomes viewers in and gives them an instant point of contact with you


• Use dark type on a light background - countless studies prove that readers are more comfortable with this style


• Make triple-sure your copy is typo-free - especially on your homepage!


• Add a salutation to the "About Kathryn" page. Try to think of something beyond "Dear Reader" or "Dear Businessperson" - something that really zeroes in on your target markets.

6. Search engine friendliness - is it written in a way that boosts your site to the top of Google searches?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• On Google, your listing is just your name followed by the perplexing line, "Best viewed in Internet Explorer, 800x600 resolution." One of the many things I can't stand about Flash


• Your page titles (the text in the gray bar at the top of the browser window) aren't doing anything to boost your ranking: all they have to offer is your name and page names, like "Main Menu." Your titles really need to sell the page, especially since they're about the only things web crawlers pick up on with Flash sites

• There's little you can do right now to improve your ranking - not until you add more copy to your homepage


• For now, you can give your page titles a boost: think of the words and phrases that your target markets might type into Google. "Image/style coaching/consulting" is a start. Work these into your titles. Example: "Kathryn Lim - Image coaching and style advice for business people"

7. Clear call to action - Will readers know what to do once you've convinced them to buy?

GENERAL CRITIQUE

• There's no call to action on your homepage


• Mixed messages: your contact page ends with "Visit www.wealthfromwithin.com" and invites the reader to contact you with "comments or suggestions." But your first priority is neither of these. And a confused reader is a whole lot less likely to proceed to the next step

• Make your call to action simple and focused: you want readers to contact you so they can book sessions with you. Stick with that agenda and throw out the rest. If you need to include wealthfromwithin.com, add a "Links" page


• Put your contact info and an offer right there on your homepage, directly beneath your name. That way, readers won't have to dig around when they're ready to take the next step. Try this:

kathryn lim | your personal business image consultant call me now for a FREE consultation 123-456-7890

Kathryn, I hope this critique inspires you transform your website from a showpiece to an online presence that attracts web crawlers like magnets, converts web-surfers into clients, and reflects the true beauty of your services.

Good luck!

If you want to improve the performance of your website too, click here to find out how you can get your very own Homepage Booster. It's really easy!

© Katja Bartholmess is a freelance copywriter and marketing consultant with
offices in New York and Berlin. In business since 2002, Katja connects products
and services with the people who buy them by way of sales letters, web copy,
promotions, newsletters, and much more. Find out more at www.writing-your-success.com or get in touch: (917)365-6106; katja@kb-words.com.